How many of us are dancing around an EGO?
We should be all about upskilling everyone within our organisations. We should be all about productivity & logic to further advance not only our people but the people they serve aka – your customers!
But how often does the three letter word creep in and slam shut the door of potential? How often does EGO get in the way of possibilities? Sure, we could have a cockfight! But seriously – who has the energy?
I guess as women, we learn to dance! Dance around our egos. Being sure never to challenge our superiority at the expense of having us realise that we could be wrong! EEK – heaven forbid!
But at some point, one would think our level of self-awareness would surpass our need to be right and this which would include; making other people wrong!
The old belief is that it stems from the top, but we are now seeing it differently. We are seeing self-aware business owners, but with the roadblock to scaling and being the very best they can be, and it seems to be limited more often than not by the manager underneath them. How can we expect better productivity in our companies while this occurs?
Traditionally, the vast majority of women within the construction sector have their own businesses and ‘this’ stems across more industries than just ours. ‘This’ is breaking down long-established corporate rules of doing things ‘the way they have always been done.’ But like always, we are questioning why?
We all know, if you are acting from a place of ego typically, you have something to prove. We have all been there! But by stripping away the childhood traumas and fears we have all had to face and we soon realise we are all very much the same. So why do managers feel the need to crush a person’s spirit to satisfy a need for control, for superiority through inflating and asserting their egos?
I guess this is where we are in fact ‘dancing!’
Whilst we are aligning with companies who will help us to expand our careers, we ask that you challenge yourself next time you witness this in the workforce. It’s easier said than done, but when we stand up, there’s less chance that you’ll burn out and go home exhausted.
The next time you have an egotistical manager pushing his or her weight around, humbly say to yourself “Yes, that’s right, you are the boss” and smile. God knows egos are a short term strategy and in a never-ending evolving game you need not burn the energy!
The hardest thing for women however when dealing with someone else’s ego and demands that weight heavy on our lives is the ability to establish boundaries.
We aren’t great at establishing and implementing boundaries and yet we hold resentment when people don’t respect the ‘invisible’ boundaries we have in our head. Because to admit we have boundaries would go against the way we have been raised as women right? Wrong!
- Set boundaries based on your mental health.
- Set boundaries based on your physical health.
- And stand firm in these.
- Why? Because no one else will.
- And you are not a vending machine!
Nowadays we have so much pressure as women:
- We are expecting to breed
- We are expected to be independent
- Expected to succeed
- Be a breadwinner
- Raise children, furbabies included
- Manage a household
- Manage a company
- Change the World
And the list continues …
So exactly where in that list is time for you? Simply put, it starts with your mindset and your ability to respect your own boundaries.
It’s in your ability to articulate what you want AND go after it. Outline your boundaries. Say no when something doesn’t suit and don’t attack yourself when you miss an opportunity to set your boundaries. This takes time, sometimes over years. But you know what; we can’t do it all and that’s ok. And who are we really satisfying by exhausting ourselves proving that we can? One step at a time.
Therefore, next time your manager feels the need to fluff up their feathers, demanding you notice their importance in the workplace – smile!
Clearly – they need the recognition of their own self-importance. So perhaps, get to work on your own!